Fight Turbulence with Tenderness

My daughter was having a really hard day. She wasn’t in a good mood. I came downstairs while she and my wife were having one of those kitchen conversations that was heading toward a disagreement before escalating into an argument. I caught enough of the back-and-forth to know what the issue was. And I found the swirling chaos around them wanting to snag me as well.

I felt the urge to step in, interrupt the tension, and shut it down.

But this time, I didn’t let the chaos in. Instead, I took a deep breath and calmly invited my daughter to sit down in our family room. She was unhappy about a situation. And unhappy to be talking to me about it.

Rather than be offended by her tone or words, I spoke love back to her. Doing so allowed me to bring beauty, life, and order into the place disorder had been minutes earlier.

She soon shared what was really going on at a heart level. It had little to do with the initial issue. I listened. I was comfortable with the silence and the messiness. As James 1:19 reminds us, “It is best to listen much, speak little, and not become angry”(TLB).

The turbulence ended with tenderness, tears, and a hug.

I like calm. I like people getting along. But rather than wait for those things to happen and be irritated when it doesn’t, I ushered those things in.

Chaos lost that evening. Based on our future responses, it can lose every time.

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