Destroy the Time Machine
Years ago, my wife and I faced one of the biggest decisions of our lives. A ministry in Colorado invited me to join their team. It would involve a cross-country relocation and saying bye to a twenty-year publishing career, a fantastic church, best friends, a stellar school, and the home we raised our children in. The salary was good but quite a bit less than my corporate paycheck. On paper, the decision to pass was a no-brainer. But we didn’t want to rely on human wisdom. We hungered for revelation. “God, we need a clear ‘yes’ before we commit. Or a solid ‘no’ and we’ll forget about it.”
Instead, he provided countless small stirrings and hints that we were to move. I pushed hard for clarity. “Come on, God. Don’t be coy. Do we go or stay? One word from you will resolve this entire issue.”
God offered something even greater . . . a vision that transformed our interpretation of the opportunity and of him. With eyes closed in prayer, I saw my wife and I walking along a forest trail. We came to a clearing with a small corral. Inside were two stallions. An old rancher stood on the opposite side with a boot propped on the rail, his cowboy hat slightly cocked. When he smiled, the skin creased around his steel-blue eyes.
In this vision, God had gone before us and taken care of every detail. The path in the woods had been cleared. The horses in the corral were saddled. The gate was unlocked.
The rancher asked in a gentle voice, “Do you want to ride?” His tone conveyed respect and the promise of initiation. Had the rancher instead grabbed a megaphone and shouted “Yes, do it!” or “No, don’t go!” it would have been more clear . . . and less satisfying.
Instead of quick answers, He offered deep questions. Then He graciously gave us the freedom to choose.
It took the right question for us to know our answer was a passionate yes. Only after we accepted the invitation did we realize there was a third horse in the stable. The offer was never to ride alone, but with him.
So how did things turn out? Ten years later, we still have many questions. But we’ve discovered answers can be overrated. Our family loves the spaciousness of our faith and life but financially, things are not so spacious. We miss the close friends and church we left behind. If my wife and I could step into a time machine, would we return to the lives we had prior to the move? We discussed that pretend option recently and agreed we’d destroy the time machine rather than lose who we have become by saying yes to God’s invitation.
We are learning how to embrace this life of mystery even with the unanswered questions.
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